Tag: honesty

Thoughts from the Treadmill

Lauren2 Comments

You know when you were all psyched to go home after work and run outside because it was beautiful all day, but then you get home and it’s ominously cloudy and SUPER windy so you drag yourself to the gym instead and are convinced it’s going to be the worst thing ever but then Gaga is all “hello hello baby you called, I can’t hear a thing” and it gives you life?

Well that happened to me last night and after I was done imagining myself as Beyoncé in that music video, I had some deep thoughts.  Like that sometimes, when I’m listening to a song that has a good beat, it makes me miss dancing so much I could cry.  Or how many things I wish I could go back and do with the maturity and self-confidence I have now.

It’s taken 26 years, but I’m slowly realizing it’s okay to do things I’m not perfect at and this most recent yoga stint has been HUGE in helping me come to that conclusion.  I’d been going to all these free Core Power classes, doing the same moves, in the same order and feeling like a pretty little ballerina who’d mastered the moves and could do them with my eyes closed and no one there to even queue the next move.

This new studio?  It’s all new, each class is different and I’m not perfect at it.  And I’m realizing it’s okay to not have perfect balance during my Half Moon or know exactly what move is coming next.  It means being present and listening, instead of letting my body move on auto pilot while my mind is elsewhere.  And it means pushing myself to try moves that are outside my comfort zone and being okay with not knowing if I can actually do them until I try.

A huge issue for me back when I did dance was not wanting to try things I didn’t think I’d be good at.  I had a teacher who constantly berated me to “go back and actually try this time” and while it felt so harsh at the time (and didn’t motivate me so much as it made me shut down), I understand now that she probably saw that perfectionism was holding me back.  I’d like to think that if I could go back and do it all again, I’d be okay with pushing myself, falling, failing, and maybe being better for it.

Can you relate in some way?  If not, thanks for reading anyway.  I probably would’ve checked out after that first run-on sentence 🙂

Last Night at Yoga

Lauren1 Comment

If you’ve ever been to a yoga class, then you probably know most teachers like to spout out some really hippy talk during the practice.  It always sounds really nice and I’m sure they’re being genuine, but most times I’m kind of rolling my eyes.  I can’t really relate and it’s all a little too out there for me.  Suggestions for how to adjust my pose to make it even better and stronger are more than welcome, but vague talk about “your purpose” or “things that don’t serve you” usually go in one ear and out the other.  Sorry, but it’s true!

That being said, I really connected with what my teacher was talking about in class last night.  It was all about the Svadhisthana Chakra or the Pelvic Chakra and to think of it as a bowl of water, that if out of balance, could spill out all your emotions.  The reverse being that the bowl of water would freeze up and you don’t actually feel your emotions.  She went on to suggest that we allow ourselves to notice any emotions that came up during the class, but not necessarily act on them, and that you could translate that to your everyday life.

I could think of a handful of recent incidents when I had let one little thing set me off and totally change my mood (for the worse), so I could definitely relate.  And up until that moment I had always thought being emotional was a GOOD thing.  I had prided myself on being “fully connected to my emotions,” and in this eye-opening moment I realized being a total emotional waterfall might be just as dysfunctional as being unemotional.  Whoa.  So am I going to instantly become the type of person who notices their emotions without always immediately acting on them?  Probably not, but maybe now that I know that’s an option, I can at least TRY to do that more often.

Just some deep thoughts for you on this Wednesday 🙂