What I’d Like to Say to the Grammy Award Attendees

Hi, how was your weekend?  Mine involved some Denver bar-hopping on Friday night, being totally and utterly lazy for a majority of the day on Saturday, seeing Side Effects (totally not what I expected!) and pedicures with my mom, sister and Hannah on Sunday.

I also snagged free breakfast at Mod Market and was pretty disappointed when my quiche (which had great flavor and crust!) was totally cold.  When I told the owner he informed me that they’re having trouble with the temperature because of health codes (whatever they are) and that quiche is actually a room temperature food.  I resisted the urge to say “Look buddy, I’ve been heating up quiche for 20 years.”


Oh and I also watched the Grammy’s.  And had a lot to tell the attendees.

1. Dear Taylor Swift, please grow up.  I’m begging you.

2. Dear Adele, you are amazing.  I would never ever wear that dress, but I’m basically okay with any decision you make and every time you give an acceptance speech I love you a little bit more.

3. Dear Fun., what was your lead singer wearing and why do all your songs sound like an anthem for youths of the world?

4. Dear John Mayer, when you see yourself on worst dressed lists today, just know that I dug that purple velvet suit.

5. Dear Mumford and Sons, even though I listened to your newest CD so many times that I almost can’t stand listening to it anymore, thank you for being actual musicians.  And for not letting Johnny Depp perform with you.

6. Dear Ellen and Beyonce, more presenting from you together please!

7. Dear Justin Timberlake, your new song is…really disappointing!  I did not wait 6 years for a song about you wearing a suit and tie and calling me (because he is always singing to me) “little mama.”  Do you mind if I just hit mute and watch you dance?

8. Dear CBS, the memo you sent out about Grammy attire was hilarious!  Thank you for wording it in the most awkward way.  And sorry that Katy Perry ignored your plea.

9. Dear Kelly Clarkson, I am totally not embarrassed to tell people you were my first concert.

10. And dear Grammy Awards, thank you for organizing some awesome musical collaborations.  They were unexpected and surprisingly awesome!


What did you do this weekend?

What have you been dying to say to a celebrity?

Is quiche really a room temperature food?