August 2013 – Page 4 – Life as Lauren

HUGE SPOILER ALERT!

When Joey and I first started watching Breaking Bad it was because everyone and their mom, dad, uncle and dog were watching it. And more than that, they were talking about it. Non-stop. Everywhere. Like it was the best show to ever grace television.

I’ll be honest, starting it, it didn’t really seem like the best show ever to me. But this is coming from someone who watched Glee and Desperate Housewives far past the point where they stopped being “good.” Still, we binge watched four and a half seasons, started saying “yo” at the end of every sentence and referring to beer brewing as “cooking a batch.” In other words, the show really grew on me. I’ve missed it since December when we finished the first part of Season 5 and now, with the return of the final half of the final season, what better time to recap all the best, most shocking moments, yo!

Top 10 Most Shocking Moments from Breaking Bad

1. Walt kills a guy and with Jesse, dissolves two bodies in acid – Season 1

Oh hey, welcome to the show, here’s murder by innocent-seeming high school chemistry teachers and a heavy dose of melty blood and guts to go with it. Enjoy!

2. Walt watches Jesse’s girlfriend die of an overdose – Season 2

This scene was brutal. Walt watching Jesse’s girlfriend die without stepping in to stop it was so shockingly heartless. I’ve been waiting for that secret to come out for 4 seasons but I’m starting to think it’s never going to.

3. Walt’s hit and ~~run~~…er, gun? – Season 3

Just when we all started to get really nervous that Jesse was about to get himself killed, Walt sweeps in and runs the two guys over, then finishes the one off by shooting him. I’m pretty sure Joey and I’s immediate reaction to Walt’s very sudden appearance was hysterical laughter. I know, murder isn’t funny, but watching those two guys fly in the air like a couple of bowling pins was the last thing we expected and we really couldn’t help ourselves.

4. Jesse kills Gale – Season 3

Ugh, didn’t you just feel so bad for Gale this whole season? He was just this lonely chemist who got caught in a bad position. This scene was also a shock because, for the first time, we saw Jesse kill someone. At least he seemed pretty torn up about it (unlike another main character I know). Don’t worry guys, Gale found himself a new home on AMC’s Low Winter Sun. Let’s hope he has better luck over there.

5. The Twins come after Hank – Season 3

Ah, this scene!! I know Hank is kind of an asshole, but you had to root for him in this scene. I wouldn’t put it past the Breaking Bad crew to kill off a big main character like Hank so I was on the edge of my seat the entire time. Also, how creepy were those twins and who uses an ax?!

6. Gus kills one of his own men – Season 4

The guy just seemed too damn professional to murder anyone, didn’t he? Guess not.

7. Gus kills the Mexican Cartel – Season 4

How crazy was this scene?! I always kinda liked Gus (so calm, cool and collected), but he was seriously badass in this scene. Who just poisons themselves in order to take out an entire drug cartel and then actually pulls it off?

8. Walt poisons a kid – Season 4

So I guess it shouldn’t have been that shocking that Walt would sink so low — he’s already proved his heartlessness a billion other times — but I thought we were leaving kids out of this. And no one likes when he jerks our beloved Jesse around!

9. Walt and Jesse blow Gus up – Season 4

And Season 4 goes out with a bang. Literally. I was so shocked to see his half blown off face that all I could say was “What just happened?!” It wasn’t crazy that they killed him, it was just crazy how they killed him.

10. Todd kills a kid – Season 5

Again with the kids? As if the whole train robbing heist wasn’t crazy enough, there has to be the unexpected death of a kid? By some newcomer to the show? What is going on?

11. Walt kills Mike

Mike was the unbeatable character for so long that I really did not expect him to meet his end at the hands of Walt. Come on, he at least deserved to get murdered by someone as careful, professional and experienced as he was, right? That “shut up and let me die in peace” line was so classic Mike though.

12. Killing spree of Gus’s men – Season 5

This scene was quick but it was insane. Wait, didn’t they stab someone to death with pens at one point? What the?

13. And finally…Hank realizes Walt is Heisenberg – Season 5

In the back of our minds, we all had to know this was coming, right? Still shocking to see it actually happen though. Guess we’ll just have to wait to see how that one plays out.

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Do you watch Breaking Bad?

For the past 5 years, Joey has been pushing me to take a trip to his family’s cabin in the mountains. And for the past 5 years, I have adamantly said no. We’d had this push/pull dynamic going on for so long, that it became completely automatic for me. I stopped thinking about whether or not I actually wanted to go to the cabin, and just said no. In all honesty, I couldn’t even remember why I’d been saying no for so long, so I stopped and said yes. Now that our weekend at the cabin has come and gone, I’m even more confused about why I’d never wanted to go before.

It was all so perfect (save for a minor hiccup while trying to find the cabin — MapQuest is not to be trusted in places without good satellite service) and I wouldn’t have changed a single thing. We made pancakes for breakfast, read on the deck in the sunshine and fresh mountain air for hours on end, built a puzzle, took multiple guilt-free naps, drank beer, walked the trails and built fires to keep warm at the end of the day when the clouds, rain and wind rolled in with a vengeance. We took a quick trip into the tiny town at the bottom of the mountain and treated ourselves to Blue Bunny ice cream and some of us (cough Joey) got crushed in a game of Uno.

In other words, I was wrong, Joey was right. I loved it and I would go back in a heartbeat.