The State of Things

I have been meaning to write a post that isn’t just a weekend recap for…. um five months?? I haven’t had time or motivation and with everything going on in the world and our lives, I’ve felt a fundamental shift in what feels worthy of writing about. When there’s a pandemic and a shooting in Boulder but also just so many fun and wonderful Dempsey moments, is the book I’m reading or the show I’m watching or the dinner recipe I’m cooking really that important? No but also yes, so I’m going to try to be better about sharing those things too. Starting now!

Motherhood

First, some Dempsey updates. He is five months old and his little personality is shining and it’s my very favorite thing ever!!! He knows what he wants, guys, and what he wants is my breakfast bowl, my coffee mug, my cell phone, my beer glass and he would like to put all of that in his mouth. It’s so funny and he is very vocal when he does not get those things, ha ha! We are going on three weeks of sleeping through the night and it has not gotten old. I’m amazed and delighted every time I wake up and discover it’s morning. He has also gotten much much much better at napping. He almost always goes down easy and though he still has some shorty catnaps, for the most part they have gotten much longer. He is still not really rolling, but soon I hope. I’ve been thinking back to his first days, weeks, months on this Earth and I really feel so much more comfortable and confident in my mothering abilities. It helps that he smiles at me, puts his little arms around my neck when I hold him, plays with my fingers and touches my face and hair when I feed him. Gah, he is just the absolute best!!!! I also think that work-life balance has gotten much easier and I have a semi-handle on working from home with a baby, especially on those days when we are on our own.

Reading

If you know me at all, you know I am always reading like three books at once. Right now, I’m juggling a Little Women re-read, A Promised Land by Barack Obama and I just finished the audiobook of Know My Name by Chanel Miller and… well, Mr. Popper’s Penguins, which we were reading to Dempsey but also to ourselves 😛 I honestly wasn’t expecting much from Know My Name and since it’s so hard to get myself to read non-fiction I decided to listen to it. Chanel narrates it herself and I was BLOWN AWAY by it. It’s a few days later and I am still having trouble putting all my feelings into words. Chanel has such a way with words, such a beautiful (but also heartbreaking) way of expressing herself. I want to thank her for her words, for her strength, for her vulnerability, for sharing so much of herself with us. It means more than she will ever know. If you’re so inclined, I HIGHLY HIGHLY recommend a read or a listen.

A Healthier Relationship to Food

Before I got pregnant, I thought I had a pretty healthy relationship to food but being pregnant forced me to confront some things and maybe realize I wasn’t fully there. I’m not saying I have it all figured out now but I had been living my life around some rules that I didn’t even realize were there. Weird thoughts about how often I ate out or how often I ate meat or when I drank alcohol or had dessert were still in my mind and I’d been doing that for so long that it felt normal. I’ve literally thrown out all of those rules and it feels so much better, so much easier, so much happier. Beer on a Tuesday? Yes! Talking myself out of dessert? Never! Probably helps to have a tiny human around, observing and eventually mimicking our food habits but damn, feels good to be in this place. I want to stay here forever!

And Speaking of Food… Cooking!

Man am I ready for “spring food,” aka not heavy winter comfort food. Meals that involve fresh herbs and produce that isn’t squash! I’m going through a freeze-dried strawberry phase (energy bites and granola!) and wholeheartedly embracing salmon after having an aversion to it basically my entire pregnancy. And I know I have mentioned it a ton already, but I bought way way way too much wing sauce from Fire on the Mountain for the Super Bowl, so we’ve been having wing night every couple of weeks and it’s been such a fun tradition. I think we should keep it up even though we finished off our sauces. I know we have a little ways to go still, but I CANNOT wait to be in summer produce season with a baby who can finally eat foods. I hope he loves peaches as much as his mom!

Looking Forward!

Have I mentioned Hannah is a literal angel and has found vaccine appointments for so many of our family members and just yesterday, FOR US!!!! Joey, Wayne, Chad, Betsy, two of our co-workers and I all got appointments for THIS WEEK and I cannot even tell you how happy and excited I am. I booked my appointment around 3 PM on Monday and was SO DISTRACTED for the rest of the day! I cannot wait to hug my best friend or go out to dinner with my husband or celebrate my sister’s birthday with my family or pass on those antibodies to my son. The idea of returning to normal life honestly doesn’t feel real but I am trying to wrap my head around it and I feel very very excited and just a little bit anxious about being busy again 😛