Or, actually, you really don’t but I’m going to write it anyway! 😛

If it’s even possible, I think I’ve one-upped myself on Oscar obsession this year.  If this trend continues, what will I be like in two, five, ten years??  The answer is probably INSUFFERABLE.  It’s possible I’ve spent far too many hours wondering how A Star is Born has managed to NOT sweep every award show, listening to every podcast that even mentions the Oscars and rolling my eyes every time I remember Bohemian Rhapsody is nominated for Best Picture but If Beale Street Could Talk is not??  Let’s discuss.

Best Picture

Who I Want to Win: A Star is Born

Who I Think Will Win: Roma

But I won’t be mad when Roma wins because what a masterpiece it is!

Actor in a Leading Role

Who I Want to Win: Bradley Cooper

Who I Think Will Win: Rami Malek

Rami nailed the physicality of Freddie Mercury, but I don’t know, is imitation really as impressive as lowering your voice a whole octave, keeping up with Lady Gaga when you’re NOT even a singer and bringing new emotional depth to a character that’s already been depicted three times, all while starring and directing??

Actress in a Leading Role

Who I Want to Win: Lady Gaga

Who I Think Will Win: Glenn Close

I saw The Wife and it legitimately made me so mad.  The premise of the film — that a wife could ghost write her husband’s entire canon of novels — is just WILDLY unbelievable.  She also puts a stop to her career because ONE female novelist advises her not to become a writer?  I can’t with this film and therefore with Glenn Close’s performance, which was fine I guess but lost in this nothing film.  Gaga forever!

Actor in a Supporting Role

Who I Want to Win: Sam Elliott or Richard E. Grant

Who I Think Will Win: Mahershala Ali

Look, Mahershala is great, but he just won and I’m also sort of confused why Mahershala gets to be spared any of the Green Book controversy.  Did he sign onto this film like everyone else?  Anyway, no moment moved me like a teary-eyed Sam Elliott backing out of the driveway and Richard E. Grant is just a delightful human being who gave a superb performance in Can You Ever Forgive Me?

Actress in a Supporting Role

Who I Want to Win: Regina King

Who I Think Will Win: Regina King

I feel teary every time I think of the sincerity and ferocity Regina put into this performance.  It was astounding.

Miscellaneous Hopes & Thoughts

I’m going to be really excited when Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse wins because animated or not, superheroes or not, it was one of my favorite movies of the year.

I listened to the score from If Beale Street Could Talk at work on Friday and it is though I know NOTHING about music, it is seriously so beautiful.

Real quick just want to mention that Eighth Grade was such an amazing movie and it’s a crime against humanity that it wasn’t nominated for ANYTHING.  The end.

I am very nervous for Bradley Cooper to sing.  Please let it go well…

Mainly, I know the Oscars have been kind of a mess this year — I think they walked back literally every announcement they made — but look, there’s only so much you can do to make it a good show, the rest is out of everyone’s control.  No matter what, I’m excited to watch!

Are you watching the Oscars tonight?