It’s the last day of January and I’m caught between feeling excited for February (Super Bowl SNACKS! Valentine’s Day! The Oscars! Mardi Gras! Being just that much closer to warm spring weather!!) and sad that this really good month is over. January felt SOOOO LOOOONG. And not in a bad, dragging kind of way, but in a room to stretch out kind of way.
Current state of the country aside (because I think this new administration might require some compartmentalization in order to stay sane for the next four years), I felt more settled and content and in control (or at least way more relaxed about NOT feeling in control) than I have in a long time.
I had 31 days to find some sense of life balance. To make a bunch of home-cooked meals, but still try new restaurants and enjoy some old favorites too. To go out, see people, do things, but also to be home doing nothing with no one. To feel really really happy but also feel really really sad, because sometimes you just need to let that feeling wash over you too.
The thing is, life is always changing so this balanced feeling won’t and can’t last. At least, not in its current iteration. But maybe I can take this mindset with me into the rest of the year and let it help me better handle any challenges that lie ahead.
Life is weird right now and I’m having a tough time deciphering everything I’m feeling. Well, I have a tough time doing that anyway, but right now, it feels extra tough. One moment, I feel inexplicably happy, then guilty about feeling happy. Charged, motivated, invigorated, then crippling helplessness. The good news, is you’re here with me, right? You feel it too?
Let’s keep on keeping on. Let’s go to dinner with friends and listen to wedding plans. Let’s watch documentaries and talk about big things with passion and conviction and understanding when someone else might feel differently. Let’s sleep and give ourselves time to feel relaxed, rejuvenated and reconnected with the people around us. Let’s be productive, but let’s also slow down and breathe. Let’s put down our devices, eat dinner NOT in front of the TV. Let’s see movies with narratives that challenge us to think past our own lives. Let’s laugh and feel thankful for the small things then let’s try new things and feel thankful for the opportunity to do that too. I did all of this this weekend. Like I said, gotta keep on keeping on.
Halibut Foil Packs with Chile Butter (‘cept with cod) // Fences was so good and Viola Davis is a goddess // Sunday Breakfast with Babettes and Boxcar at The Source // Brewing a saison with FUGGLE hops!