Balance

Whoa, I just almost wrote this post through my old blog site.  Oopsie.

Anyways. I’ve just come to a very serious realization.  An epiphany, if you will.

All this time I’ve thought working out made me feel good, but it’s really just wearing comfy workout clothes that makes me feel good!  Okay in all seriousness, I do have something that I’ve been thinking about and finally just decided I should write about it.

I’m very aware that I’m the kind of person who gets stressed out extremely easily.  I don’t know where I get this from or if I’ve always been this way, but the smallest things can stress me out.  This includes TV shows piling up in my DVR, my jeans being an inch shorter than I want them to be and my food not being hot enough.  Stupid small things.

The result is that my skin freaks out, my dreams get all sorts of weird and I’m just in a bad mood.  So I cut back.  Cut back on a lot of the things I used to fill my days with.  Cooking, running, blogging, cleaning.  Just kidding about that last one though.  This doesn’t mean I stopped liking these things, I was just exhausted trying to fit them all in everyday.  These days, I only do those things a few times a week, as opposed to 5-6 days a week and it’s made my life so much simpler.  The trade-off, though, is that they’re harder.

I used to be a one post a day kind of blogger.  As soon as I graduated college and traded in a job where I could blog while I was working for a grown up 8-5 one, that became an unrealistic blogging schedule.  So I cut back.  And if you hadn’t noticed, lately I’m lucky to get one to two posts up a week.

I realized that while I love writing, taking time out of my too-short-as-it-is weeknight to sit behind a computer screen wasn’t what I wanted to be doing.  Especially when sudden invitations to burger night or catching up on episodes of Dexter and Revenge are much more fun.  The trade off is that I feel a lot less connected to this blog and my blogging voice in general.

Does that make sense?  I’m here so infrequently that it’s become a random jumble of weekly happenings.  Part of me is just fine with this.  It’s easier and I have a lot more to share.  But the other half of me hates struggling to put my thoughts together in a clear and organized way when I do write a post.  I no longer feel like I’m sitting down to tell a friend about my day.  Instead I feel uncertain of the things I write and like I’m losing my voice as a writer.  Like with anything, practice makes perfect and cutting back on practice makes less perfect.

When I started this new blog, it was because I wanted to move on from having one focus and because I was having some doubts about the community that I had targeted with the things I was writing about.  I wanted to be honest about the not-so-perfect, not-so-easy, not-so-one-dimensional parts of my life, and I feel that I haven’t done much of that.  I guess I’m just struggling to balance my need to have simplicity in my life with my desire to keep evolving as a writer.

Running and cooking are a whole different conversation.

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Why do you blog?

Do you ever have a hard time finding your writer’s voice?

Any and all feedback is welcome!