If I Were Going to the Kentucky Derby

Oh the Derby.

Even though I’m not a “horse person” — seriously don’t get the appeal — and jockeys kind of freak me out — why have I never seen a person that size in real life?? — the Kentucky Derby is totally on my bucket list.  If I was more organized and wasn’t too distracted by bigger/more margarita-filled occasions (cough Cinco de Mayo) during this time of year, I would throw a cool Kentucky Derby party, complete with big extravagant hats, horse-shaped cookies and bourbon.  Lots of bourbon.

Better yet, if I were actually going to the Kentucky Derby…


I would drink this mint julep.  And several of it’s friends.  Once, on a trip to New Orleans, my mom, my aunt, my sister and I all toured the Oak Alley Plantation.  They were serving mint juleps and my mom had to specify that my sister and I were to get non-alcoholic versions.  Alcohol regulation is a little more relaxed in New Orleans…

I would place bets based on the horse’s name alone.  Palace Malice, Charming Kitten and Frac Daddy?  Yes, please!

I would put aside my disinterest in horses and jockeys and channel my inner Eliza Doolittle to cheer on the actual race.


I would hope to God I didn’t see any horse injuries.

I would mingle with celebrities like Hugh Hefner and Kim Kardashian.  You know, people I don’t care about at all but would probably get really excited about seeing in person.  A celebrity’s a celebrity, right?

I would realize those celebrities are really boring and wish I was out with the crowd on the Infield.  I’ve heard it compared to Bourbon Street during Mardi Gras!

Kentucky Derby

And most importantly, I would wear a fabulously and obnoxiously extravagant hat.  That hopefully shielded my entire face, otherwise I don’t think I’d be brave enough to actually go out in public in it.

Because that’s what the Kentucky Derby is really about.


Is the Kentucky Derby on your bucket list?

Do you celebrate the Derby or Cinco de Mayo?

Have you ever had a mint julep?