Oh the Derby.

Even though I’m not a “horse person” — seriously don’t get the appeal — and jockeys kind of freak me out — why have I never seen a person that size in real life?? — the Kentucky Derby is totally on my bucket list.  If I was more organized and wasn’t too distracted by bigger/more margarita-filled occasions (cough Cinco de Mayo) during this time of year, I would throw a cool Kentucky Derby party, complete with big extravagant hats, horse-shaped cookies and bourbon.  Lots of bourbon.

Better yet, if I were actually going to the Kentucky Derby…

I would drink this mint julep.  And several of it’s friends.  Once, on a trip to New Orleans, my mom, my aunt, my sister and I all toured the Oak Alley Plantation.  They were serving mint juleps and my mom had to specify that my sister and I were to get non-alcoholic versions.  Alcohol regulation is a little more relaxed in New Orleans…

I would place bets based on the horse’s name alone.  Palace Malice, Charming Kitten and Frac Daddy?  Yes, please!

I would put aside my disinterest in horses and jockeys and channel my inner Eliza Doolittle to cheer on the actual race.

I would hope to God I didn’t see any horse injuries.

I would mingle with celebrities like Hugh Hefner and Kim Kardashian.  You know, people I don’t care about at all but would probably get really excited about seeing in person.  A celebrity’s a celebrity, right?

I would realize those celebrities are really boring and wish I was out with the crowd on the Infield.  I’ve heard it compared to Bourbon Street during Mardi Gras!

And most importantly, I would wear a fabulously and obnoxiously extravagant hat.  That hopefully shielded my entire face, otherwise I don’t think I’d be brave enough to actually go out in public in it.

Because that’s what the Kentucky Derby is really about.

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Is the Kentucky Derby on your bucket list?

Do you celebrate the Derby or Cinco de Mayo?

Have you ever had a mint julep?